Guru Trauma

No savior is coming. There is only one authority on you and that is you. 

I regularly say on my podcast that the time of the guru is over, the time of the spiritual master is over, the time of the spiritual teacher is over. 
I say it because it is true and also because I have PTGD, which is Post Traumatic Guru Disorder. 
Yes, I made that up but it is still true.

Barry Long was my spiritual teacher and proclaimed himself, among other things, to be a spiritual guru, a spiritual master, a tantric master, and the spiritual master of the West.

Barry was brilliant and I am very grateful to him. I also know that the breakup of my first marriage and my subsequent separation from my daughter were as a direct result of his teaching.

These events scarred me deeply and I still deal with the consequences of them to this day. They are the main reason why I stress that I am not a spiritual teacher as I have seen firsthand the damage it can do.

Unless you are power hungry psychopath, and let’s face it there have been plenty of them in the guru business, the impetus to teach in the spiritual world comes from a heartfelt desire to share the insights and realisations you have acquired. You want to help other people participate in the freedom you have.

The irony is that in the pursuit of helping to raise the consciousness of others a major impediment to that process comes from unconsciously adopting the model of teaching that preceded you. 

I saw this firsthand when I went through the process of accrediting my craniosacral therapy training with the Australian government. I hired an accreditation consultant to help me and it was through working with him that I discovered how antiquated my teaching approach was. I realised I had robotically started teaching in the way I had been taught. I learned that teaching methods had evolved and that there were much more efficient ways of teaching. 

These insights combined with my own guru trauma made me realise that when it comes to the spiritual world and teaching the “truth” the stakes were much higher and the principles applied on a whole other level.

The moment you step in front of people to teach them about the truth you put a barrier between you and the people you want to teach. 
It comes from the idea of efficiency. 
The more people I get together at one time the more teaching will happen so the more consciousness will be raised. Right?

Unfortunately the, “bigger is better,” model doesn’t work with consciousness.
As the stage gets bigger, and the teacher gets further away, the person in the audience loses sight that the teacher is a person just like them. Instead, the teacher grows in power and intensity inside the person.

Barry Long passed away twenty years ago yet I still hear his voice in my head sometimes, intoning deep profound truths. It requires a lot of stillness on my part to let them go and keep my internal space free for my own.

I think this is why I like Lao Tsu so much and his deep insight into how people become more conscious.

“When those who think they know are overcome by the urge to teach, they break the fullness of silence, confine the formless with shape and begin the long hardening that takes so long to soften.

By softening, the sage becomes one with all; by flowing out there is taking in, by emptying there is filling, my losing their is finding.

Go softly in this world, so that things are left as themselves. Be gentle with everyone to not disturb their growing into themselves.”

So what does this mean for you and I?

It seems the question of our age is about taking responsibility for everything.

It means there is no figure of authority to tell us the way things are anymore. It means we have to find the way ourselves.

There are plenty of gurus banging away on stages of the world talking with the certainty of prophets.

I encourage you to look inside when you listen to them. Notice how soothing that appearance of certainty is.

There is no one coming to save us but ourselves.
We must become our own guru.
We are all spiritual friends now helping each other home.